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Sunday, April 12, 2015

How to Have a Perfectly Wretched Sunday


We moved into our house nine years ago on January 23rd. Do you know what happens to a house on the coast in nine years time? Well, do you? It deteriorates, that's what it does, and quickly! 
One day not long ago I noticed the bumpers in the cabinets and drawers was rotting into this blob of gluey, nasty yuck that is hideous. Hideous I say! So I decided to be industrious and order those cute little sticker bumpers from Amazon and go about replacing every single one of those suckers in the house. Let's just say in hindsight I regret my enthusiasm for property maintenance.

After receiving those cute little pieces of crap, I mean silicone and glue or whatever the Hell they're made of, they sat around for awhile until finally one day I found them in my top drawer where they had gotten lost in the crowd. So, being the follow through gal that I am I decided to go about replacing them. Let me be very clear on this. You don't just simply pull the old one off and replace it with a newer cuter version. Oh No!


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What we have here is a ladder, Goo Gone, alcohol, two rags, a knife, a straight edge razor and paper towels with the gooey yucky nasty stuff that is the old bumper that has been on the drawers and cabinets for over nine years. Let me just say that the adhesive used on those original bumpers must be ultra-super-duper-industrial-strength. Not kidding! I have officially developed Popeye muscles from getting that stuff off. This must be what they use to glue airplanes together. But I'm a Taurus and guess what, we are some stubborn-ass folks y'all!

And another thing, guess how many drawers and cabinets are in this house - thousands I tell you, literally thousands! Okay, maybe I exaggerate a little but, really, who needs this freaking many drawers and cabinets? Huh? It's just two little people here. But, guess what, each and every blasted one has stuff in them!

I began in the master bathroom, yep, lots of cabinets in there. I was so eager to get started I didn't realize I was going to need all that stuff in the photo. So after trying with just my Daddy's old knife and getting some okay results but still leaving a nasty, sticky residue behind, I knew the reliable Goo Gone was required. I got it from under the kitchen sink and as the slow, tedious removal of ultra-super-duper-industrial-strength adhesive decided to be as stubborn as any Taurus I've ever known I decided to use even more Goo Gone. Did you know you can get high from Goo Gone, Oh YETH you can! I suggest using it in a well-ventilated area with the fart fan on full blast. Mmmhmm!

After the Goo Gone you have to wipe that oily residue with alcohol and not just any alcohol, 90% alcohol works just great. Fortunately it didn't take the paint off or I'd be painting inside cabinets for weeks! Finally I get to put the brand spanking new little round bumper on and I am done with the lower cabinets and drawers. Oh but look, that cabinet goes up to the freaking ceiling and guess what, yep, there is a glob of old bumper waaaay up there. Hence the ladder. I'm not that fond of ladders. I wear flip-flops around the house. You can't climb up and down a ladder in flip-flops. Not a good idea. I didn't actually fall off but came so close I shook those flip flops right off to my bare feet and felt much safer. I thought maybe I'm part monkey as my toes wrapped around each rung as I climbed ever higher. That's when I knew I needed a tool belt. Yep, climbing up and down ladders to get what was needed seemed so inefficient. So I decided on this. Yes, I know where the words "the mother of invention is necessity" comes from. My hiking belt worked just marvelous.


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So here I am on a Sunday afternoon doing this. I've made my way to the kitchen. Egad! The KITCHEN!! Holy Mackerel! Have you SEEN my kitchen! I'll be here till next Sunday!

Anyway, I thought I'd share the joy of what I've been doing all day so you can gain knowledge of how this is done. Should you decide to do this at your house and think I'd be the perfect candidate to help, DON'T CALL ME!!! I will be in the hospital with brain damage from sniffing too much Goo Gone!


Friday, January 16, 2015

Charlie


The alarm went off at 6:30 a.m. As she slowly turned toward the jangling beast she realized it was raining little sleet pellets against the windowpane.

“Great!” she opined in her most sarcastic voice. “It’s going to be one of THOSE days.”

One of those days when the customer came in eager to find a perfect gift for their aging parents since most young people chose to shop elsewhere for themselves. Or it was that little old lady looking for the perfect outfit for her Mah Jong New Year’s Eve party, or an older gentleman seeking the perfect robe for his perpetually cold, frigid wife. And everybody would be complaining about this weather, as if she had any control over it.

Life after Phil would have been so much better if she had obtained skills more worthy of her brainpower but, Nooooo, she had acquiesced to her husband of 35 years. No woman of his was ever going to work. But he had up and died of a heart attack at age 54 with no life insurance, no savings, and her with no job skills! At least the funeral home was allowing her to make payments, a monthly reminder she hadn’t even had enough funds to plant his sorry butt!

She readily admitted Phil had been a total control freak! She wasn’t even aware of their financial situation until it was too late. Thank goodness he had been unable to provide her with children. She’d have more than her own mouth to feed otherwise. The cat was her only houseguest and he was getting a little long in the tooth as well. She recalled a recent story about cats eating their lone owners rather quickly after their death, unlike dogs that would guard their owner instead of feasting on them! She doubted she would replace him when he croaked. He had been Phil’s cat and only tolerated her because she was the only one left to feed him.

These were her thoughts as she ate her oatmeal and dry toast and readied herself for a long day of cashiering at the only department store in this Podunk town. She hated working there but was unqualified to work elsewhere except fast food restaurants, of which there were plenty, but the smell made her nauseous. And she hated the thought of moving to a larger city. What difference would it make anyway, it’d just be a different retail job in a larger town with more people.

After doing a load of laundry, making her bed and moping the kitchen floor, she fed Phil’s cat and left bundled up in a parka, gloves, and winter hat. At least she got a discount for her clothing. That was literally the only good thing about working retail.

The car started on the third try. She couldn’t afford a new car or even to fix this old junker. At least it was paid for. She knew she’d be in real trouble if and when the day came it wouldn’t start. She literally didn’t know what she’d do but decided not to think about it for now.

The house had been foreclosed on right after Phil died as she had no means of making mortgage payments and the bank clearly cared not one iota about her being homeless. So she had found an old garage apartment for rent and moved in with help of the only neighbors Phil had allowed her to befriend. Even they had stopped coming around after a couple of months. She realized she hadn’t nurtured the friendship in any way. But in her mind all she had time for was working, sleeping, cleaning the apartment, and eating. She was the permanent, ‘I’ll work any chance I can get’ person. When anyone was sick, they called her. When anyone was on vacation, they called her. When they needed extra people for restocking during the holidays, they called her. She needed extra hours in order to continue to make payments on all those credit cards Phil had charged to the teeth. And she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to pay off every single one of them on her own.

She arrived in plenty of time to clock in ahead of schedule. The powers that be didn’t seem to mind. She was a hard-working woman. Not especially good with customers but no real complaints, just a little unfriendly with a sour look on her face most of the time. They didn’t know her circumstances. She kept her secrets close. She was efficient and could get a lengthy line of people checked out in no time.

She could wrap Christmas gifts quickly, too. She was fast with her hands. The gifts looked like masterpieces and customers were pleased with the results. She’d be the ideal employee if she’d just smile every once in awhile.

When the store finally closed at 9:00 and she was able to leave around 9:15 after getting the cash register to balance perfectly, sleet had turned into rain and the temperature had risen to just above freezing. Hopefully it wouldn’t drop overnight because the roads would be a disaster tomorrow morning if it did.

She said a little prayer as she turned the ignition but the good Lord wasn’t listening on this cold night. It had finally happened. No matter how many times she turned the key, the car wasn’t responding. Her head dropped to the steering wheel as she finally realized the inevitable had occurred at the most inopportune time.

With her head still resting on the steering wheel she heard a slight tap on the driver’s side window. She jerked her head up and found herself staring into one of the most kindly faces she’d ever seen. The man had the bluest eyes imaginable and she found it hard to look away, or even think clearly. His hand was making the roll down the window gesture so she did. He asked if there was anything he could do to help because he worked next door at the auto parts place and had noticed her having trouble with her car.

She was still staring at him when he asked, “Are you okay? Do you need medical attention?”

That got through to her. She looked away, mumbled, “I knew this day was coming. It took 3 times to get her going this morning but it looks like that was her last gasping breath.”

He smiled as he said, “Well, we’re not giving up on her that easily, are we?”

“I don’t know the first thing about cars and I can’t afford to pay you to fix this one. But if you let me make payments I would really appreciate your help,” the words rushed out. It was difficult for her to request assistance and somehow he knew this.

He nodded his acceptance of the terms and asked her to pop the hood. He looked at the engine for a moment, asked her to try and start it, she did and he said, “I think it’s the starter but it’s too late to work on her tonight. Can I take you home and fix it tomorrow while you’re working? I assume you’re working again tomorrow since I notice you’re here almost every day.”

That surprised her and she said, “That would be very kind of you but if I don’t have transportation I don’t know how I’ll get to work.”

“Then I’ll come get you on my way to work. Is that acceptable to you?” He was really going out of his way to be nice and she didn’t understand his kindness. She wasn’t used to it. Phil had been a man of very few words and those weren’t very caring ones at that. She finally nodded and hoped he was a man of his word.

The conversation was stilted and tense as they drove the ten minutes to her apartment. Mostly she just gave him directions. He had tried but she was a reserved woman and unable to simply chat. She thanked him and went upstairs to Phil’s cat. She eyed him dubiously and wondered if he would gnaw her bones if she died tonight. She gave him extra kibble just in case.

A shower and a snack had her in bed by 10:30 but she couldn’t get to sleep. The man’s face kept intruding and she wondered what he wanted from her. They always do, want something, that is. What she didn’t realize was that the man, Charlie, was a genuinely good guy and simply wanted to help a lone woman in need.

The next morning the alarm went off at its scheduled time and she sat straight up in bed. She’d been awakened from a disturbing dream that involved Charlie, who was supposed to pick her up around 9:30 this morning. But the dream had been almost too real. He had apologized for being unable to pick her up this morning. She couldn’t shake the feeling but got out of bed anyway. She went about her morning tasks, fed Phil’s cat, and was ready by 9:15 for Charlie to appear. But he never did.

The first call to her boss was accepted gracefully and he stopped by on his way to work to pick her up. He needed her that day and offered to get her car fixed and take payments out of her earnings in minimal increments. She was grateful for his offer and agreed to that arrangement.

During her first break she walked next door to see if Charlie had simply forgotten her but received the bad news that he had been involved in a horrible accident last night and was in the hospital with serious injuries. She didn’t know what to say. She felt guilty and thought if he hadn’t taken her home he wouldn’t have been in the ideal place for this tragedy to occur.

As she walked slowly back to work she realized she had to go to the hospital to see Charlie. It was the right thing to do because the only reason he was hurt was because of his desire to help poor wretched her.

Around 4:30 her boss had let her leave to get her now repaired car and as soon as she was able she drove to the hospital to see if Charlie was still kicking. There were several family members hovering and also employees from the auto parts store. She hung around the waiting area until they left, but that wasn’t until 10:00 that evening. She was patient and didn’t want to intrude on anyone’s time with him. As she entered the ICU, she realized that talking to Charlie was out of the question. There were so many tubes, needles, machines hooked up, and beeps, she was shocked. She’d never seen anything like it. She stood by his bedside and took his limp hand in hers.

“Charlie,” she said, “I know I am the reason you are here and I can’t tell you how sorry I am you offered to take me home. You wouldn’t have been in the area to have an accident if you hadn’t been the nicest person I’ve ever met.” A tear rolled down her cheek and landed on the hand she was holding. She didn’t know if he felt it but it embarrassed her just the same, to expose herself to a stranger was unthinkable. She left hoping and praying Charlie would live through the night.

The dream that night was especially poignant. Charlie had come to her again and said he in no way blamed her for the accident. The roads had been slowly icing over and he could have had the misfortune on his way home anyway. It was simply an accident and he promised her in the dream he was going to get better. She shouldn’t worry. She had tears in her eyes when she awoke before the alarm and thought maybe she was going a little crazy with these dreams about Charlie.

A few days later found her at his bedside again. There were still a lot of tubes and beeps but they had upgraded his prognosis considerably. Charlie was still seriously ill but when she took his hand he squeezed hers just a little. She didn’t know if he knew it was her or was just a reflexive movement, but it made her smile.

She started coming to the hospital almost every night after work for a few minutes. The nurses thought she was family and she never informed them otherwise. Finally Charlie was moved to a regular room and was taken off most of the tubes and gadgets. He was now breathing on his own and had finally been awakened from a drug-induced coma. His body was healing and the first time he saw her he smiled, his blue eyes twinkled merrily. That was her undoing. It was the happiest moment of her life thus far. No one had ever made her feel she was the most important person in the world, not Phil, not Phil’s cat, no one!

And that was how she and Charlie became best friends. Charlie was a patient man and eventually their relationship evolved into a serious one. They became engaged and ultimately married on the second anniversary of their first meeting on that cold wintry day when her car wouldn’t start.

Every so often she thought how remarkable it was she’d said a prayer for her car to start, but when it hadn’t, God had known just what she needed. He had answered her prayer in the most extraordinary way!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I Love Christmas!



There is much to love about Christmas. Not the commercialism of it and some stores decorating before Halloween has even shown it's ghostly head. Not the fighting over this or that with another customer in a store on Black Friday or the long lines associated with that day. Not even the mountains of Christmas presents under a tree. Because that isn't what Christmas is really about. But there are some wonderful qualities about Christmas to keep in mind while you're out there getting ready for this beautiful holiday.

I love the colorful lights. I love all the RED that is glowing or glittering everywhere. I love shopping on-line for Teo's presents and imagining the delight on his face when they drive down for Christmas this year and he sees the spectacle of lights and greenery both inside and outside our home. I love the idea of Santa Claus and seeing photos posted on Face book with families posed with the jolly fellow, an elf, or Mrs. Claus. I love the smell of Christmas, the fresh scent of fir trees, cinnamon candles, baked goodies, and the smoke from fireplaces. I love the happy music being played everywhere. I love the old classic movies that are brought out year after year and played over and over again, never tiring of the same happy ending. I love all the delicious food, candies, pies, and cakes. I usually gain five pounds at this time of year and that's okay.

I love the memories of Christmas as a child. My Daddy's proud face as we rushed out to the tree at dawn on Christmas day clamoring to see what Santa had brought. In retrospect, I believe those were memories he cherished to the very end.

I love the scenes displayed where Joseph, Mary, all the animals, and the three Wise Men are gathered around the manger where Baby Jesus lies with all the hope and love that represents. When I hear children's voices in perfect harmony singing Christmas carols, it brings tears of joy to my eyes. So innocent and my heart sings, too. The idea of God sending his only Son to teach us and the celebration of His birth is an occasion of joy and blessing. 

So yes, there is much commercialism involved these days, but in the right frame of mind, Christmas is a joyous, fun, beautiful, and blessed happy holiday. I love it!



Sunday, September 29, 2013

Things I Learned On Our Trip This Summer


Randy, Marley and I left for Montana on July 24th and returned on September 27th - two months away from home! I believe that's a little long and I'm thinking next year, if we go, will be for six weeks instead. I was ready to leave, I believe Randy was, and I KNOW Marley was NOT! Big Sky, Montana is truly "dog heaven" - Marley lost 10 lbs., played with dozens of other dogs, ran around free as a bird, smelled everything in sight, swam in cold mountain lakes and streams, and truly had the most wonderful time of his life. Now that we're back home he is either exhausted from the three-day return trip, or a little depressed to be back in this heat. He usually wants to be wherever we are, but yesterday when I came back in the house he was on his big orthopedic bed and I asked him if he wanted to come outside with us. He looked at me as if I had grown a third arm and his eyes told me, "Why the hell would I want to do that? It's cool in here; I have this comfy bed to lie on. Uh, NO!" So inside he stayed.



Another wonderful aspect of Big Sky is the people. The population of 2,308 has GOT to be some of the happiest, kindest, healthiest group of folks on the entire planet. They welcomed us with open arms as if we were long lost relatives. Our neighbors, a young couple with a precious little 1 1/2 year old daughter named Braxie, said they were really going to miss us when we're gone. I miss them, too. Every day you see people hiking, biking, walking up hills and mountains, always exercising in some way or another. I suppose if you undertake those strenuous winter sports like they must, you have to keep yourself strong in order to be able to accomplish them. I admire their tenacity. Everywhere you go people are smiling and truly want to help you any way possible. They are a proud, independent, take care of business type of folks and I think they could probably withstand almost anything. It's the wild, wild West and I love it!

We had many encounters while on our trip but one stands out in my mind that I'd like to pass on. At the entrance to Yellowstone National Park, Randy was talking to the park ranger while he paid the entrance fee and asked her about something he'd read. Apparently some people are throwing trash into the geysers and mud pots. Can you imagine? Her response was classic and true, "People are idiots." She shrugged her tiny, green clad shoulders as she said this. So now when Randy and I observe or discuss something we consider ignorant, we shrug our shoulders and say, "People are idiots." And we've been saying it frequently every since.




The last thing I'd like to talk about is not a happy topic. In fact, it is a sad situation out there and I HAVE to say something about it. We virtually drove across this entire country from south to north and back again. It took three ten-hour days, thirty hours, and we did that twice. So sixty hours of driving on highways and byways with me in the passenger seat observing the driving habits of our country. There was much to observe, too. Almost every single time a neighboring car would do something stupid; swerve in our lane, drive erratically, speed up, slow down, whatever dumb thing I noticed, whenever we passed them they were either talking on their phone, looking down at their phone (texting or reading a text, one would assume) or openly texting as they looked down at their phone. I was absolutely appalled at how many times I saw this. Does one not realize how dangerous that is? What could possibly be that important? We're talking about situations on interstates where the speed limit is 80 miles per hour and most are driving faster than that. Is that safe? Are their tiny little lives so important that they not only risk their own lives but everyone around them? And I observed this more times than you can even imagine. I would estimate that about half the people I passed were doing something else besides driving their damn car! It's abominable, outrageous and downright ignorant beyond comprehension. If any of you do this, STOP IT RIGHT NOW! From this moment on, don't use your phone in your car unless you have a speaker type system and that should be used minimally. If there is anything so important you feel you MUST respond to, at least wait 'til the next stoplight, pull over; make sure it is a safe place. Seriously, I mean this from the bottom of my heart. Texting while driving is THE stupidest, most selfish, dangerous act one could ever do under those circumstances. Don't be that person.

Sorry about that y'all, but I had to say something. I hate to be Debbie Downer but there is way too much of this happening and I felt compelled to mention it. 

All in all it was an awesome trip. We had a wonderful time, ate some great food, had some fun hikes and the scenery! Ah, the landscape in Montana is outstanding and we enjoyed every moment of our time there! I hope you enjoyed the photos I posted on Face book. If you ever get the chance to visit that part of the country, don’t hesitate. You won’t regret it!



And remember … y'all be careful out there because, you guessed it, "People are idiots!" (shrug)

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

It's the Little Things ...

Recently I've realized how much the little things matter. The mundane, everyday, seemingly insignificant things a person uses with barely a thought of what will happen to these 'things' once we are gone. These are the items that become treasures to our loved ones. At least that is what has happened to me since Sarah passed away. 

I use her measuring cups and tablespoon/teaspoon measurers on a regular basis and there isn't a single time I don't stop and remember her and her love of whimsy. Yet, at the same time, they are very practical. The can opener she had is one of the smoothest, easiest to use I've ever known because she had arthritis in her hands and it had to be easy or she couldn't have operated it. It's as smooth as butter. 

I know this may sound silly to some people, they are, afterall, just kitchen utensils and were some of the last things Randy grabbed that no one else wanted while cleaning out her home after she was gone. I'm so delighted he saved them because thinking of Sarah always brings a smile to my face. There may be a tear or two involved as well, but I am smiling at the same time.

She had a heart of gold and was one of the most generous and kind human beings I'll ever have the pleasure of loving.

So if you ever have to clean out a loved ones things after they are gone, keep some of those dull, boring, items no one wants or needs because they just might become precious treasures. That is exactly what has happened to me.

I thought this was valuable information so I wanted to share it with y'all.  And you're welcome. ;-)

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

It's A New Day!


Hi Y'all!

Well, I've made it through my first day Facebook free and I have to say that after a little research and reflection, I've decided I will return to Facebook, but on a much less time-consuming basis. Here's a link to some guidelines I discovered. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jonathan-alpert/technology-addiction_b_2225232.html

The reason I am going to get back on Facebook is simple really. That is how I stay in touch with most of my friends and  especially, my children and grandchild. I can't stand the thought of not being able to copy Teo's pictures or comment on them or keep up with what is going on in his life. I live 3 1/2 hours away and therefore don't see him as often as I'd like. I feel even more isolated from him already in one day.

But I am making a pledge to myself that I refrain from being on there as much as I have in the past, or commenting or liking everything I used to. I was a very active Facebooker, y'all probably know that already, but I'm just now realizing it.

Another less important reason is that I don't want to deprive y'all of some of the magnificent photos I will be posting when we go to Montana soon. Really, it's gorgeous up there and I want to be able to share that.

I am also pledging that I write on this blog more often and hopefully there will be some funny stories I can relate as we travel and become immersed in Montana culture for two months.

The last reason for rejoining is that I can post there when I have a new post here. Hopefully, it will reach more people that way.

So, that pretty much covers it. I hope y'all don't think I'm a big ninny for being so wishy-washy, back and forth, on again off again, flip-floppy, silly, take things too seriously, nincompoop. Because that's just about how I'm feeling right now. But, oh well, at least I can admit it, right?

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

I'm done with you, Facebook

I deactivated my Facebook account today and feel such a huge relief. Interesting. As if a weight of ugliness has been lifted from my shoulders. Gotta listen to those "gut" instincts. Whenever I've ignored them it has always led to a mistake, be it large or small, in my life.

Once I figured out how to download all my photos that were not saved elsewhere due to computer crashes, viruses, or whatnot, that was it for me.  One of the main reasons I kept it open is because of old photos that weren't archived elsewhere.

I will miss keeping up with my family and friends' activities and their photos, but the people who know me already know how to reach me.  And if anyone needs my email address or phone # it shouldn't be that difficult to find me.  

I decided that this blog might be a good outlet for me to stay in touch and share photos along the way.  Not being on Facebook will allow me much more time to focus on my writing instead of getting bogged down in the time suck known as Facebook.  Plus it's been recently published that Yahoo, Google, Facebook and others have been monitored for several years.  Keep your noses out of my business, a-holes.

It's really the political stuff that did me in.  I just can't seem to keep my mouth shut when I believe in something.  I'm a passionate woman.  I've got strong opinions and I don't need anybody else trying to change my mind.  I am what I am - a conservative - and nothing anyone says is ever going to change that.

In conclusion, if you want to keep up with the goings on in my life and mind, check here if you feel like it ... or not.

Oh, and I think if you want to be notified when there is a new post you need to be a "Member" on this blog.