Trauma, Feelings, Fire and Lint Catchers

I just had the most interesting experience so I thought I would write it down since I really didn’t know these feelings were still buried deep within me. I believed I’d gotten over this trauma years ago, but apparently not.

I once wrote a story about why I have Post Traumatic Closet Disorder (PTCD) because an ex emptied my closet of every single stitch of my clothing, accessories, jewelry, purses, shoes, underwear, bras, every item of clothing I owned. I was left with literally only the clothes on my back. That’s when I came home to Texas into the welcoming arms and home of my sister in Austin. The ladies at her church got together and brought me clothes and, of course, my sister helped me financially until I could get a job and get back on my feet again. Fortunately that happened in less than two weeks of my arrival back to the great state of Texas and one of the many reasons I love my home state so much.

Today a friend posted on Facebook about a single mom losing all her possessions to a fire and she had three kids she was raising by herself. All of her possessions gone in a flash. I know how that feels, pretty darn awful. And this woman’s plight was even worse than mine. I felt compelled to pay forward the kindness done me years earlier. After bringing a few things to my friend’s house I almost broke down in tears at her house. My experience was so long ago; I couldn’t believe I was having tears well up again and again. I really don’t understand because my life now is beyond blessed.

As a side note, yesterday I was on a mission to clean out the lint thingy in the dryer. I even had Randy unscrew parts so I could get down in there and clean it out. And, you guessed it, that’s exactly what happened to that poor woman’s house. Being a mother of 3 teenagers you know her dryer is going constantly. She left for work with it on and apparently it sat there and smoldered until finally it took hold and burnt down her entire trailer and everything in it. We’ve all left the house with the dryer running. I'm no longer doing that. Also, it’s a lesson to be learned to keep that lint catcher cleaned out and even to stick the vacuum hose down in there once a month. I know I am. It could happen to anyone.

Feelings, even old yucky ones, can raise their ugly heads years down the road. I don’t know how to deal with my old paranoia of losing all my clothing, etc. I know it won’t be from an ex being a mean bastard, Randy is beyond generous and would never in a million years do anything like that. The only comfort I can gain from the horrible experience is that the ex is the one whose nose I broke with a bat, so there IS that.