Wow! Been quite awhile since I blogged. Needless to say, I've been rather busy. Life seems to just keep moving on, no matter how much you'd like it to stay the same, or even change drastically. It seems to know what I need though, so here I am.
Shawn is staying until he decides to leave or I ask him to. It's as simple as that. He's a good man and truly cares about Marley and me. So sweet. He keeps everything running in peak condition. And more importantly than all that, I've fallen in love with him. He's extremely hard to resist. I love him. Simple enough, right? Nope, never are things simple enough. But basically, when you get right down to it, it IS pretty simple. I am a widow and am available to have a relationship. He is a very old friend, I've known him at least 30 years because he and Randy worked together and were friends. That is how I reconnected with him after all these years. Apparently he and Randy kept in touch from time to time through texts. Last April 23rd (ironically my birthday) Shawn had sent Randy a text. I didn't see it until April 26th. I promptly prepared myself for that conversation where someone is unaware he had passed away September 12, 2020, a date I will never ever forget. I texted that it was me, Roxann ..., and could I call him from my phone and gave him that #. As usual, the conversation was sad yet sweet at the same time. It's hard to respond to someone who has lost the love of their life. I know, Shawn lost his Ava 11 years ago, maybe 12 now. So he absolutely "gets" my sad days. Days I miss my beloved Randy. That is comforting to me to know that. It allows me to just feel my feelings, no matter what they are. Total acceptance on his part. That truly feels good and right. He even holds me as I cry on particular bad days. That, my friends, is true acceptance and so so comforting.
So, yeah, that's a lot of change and we're still new at this. As time travels on, like it does, we become more comfortable with each other. I very simply like him as the good person he is, even if we're not together. Now I miss him terribly when he's not here. But that happens from time to time and I'd say that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.
So still happy with things as they are so not changing a ding dang thing until I have to or life takes care of it in ways I can't even imagine right now. It tends to or seems to tend to go in that direction. Completely unexpected. But good. You know? Ah well, as we all know - We Shall See!
