Why Does Something Like This Happen Every Time Randy Goes Out of Town?

You wanna hear about my crappy day?  No?  Tough, I'm gonna tell you anyway.

First of all, I didn't sleep well last night.  Tossed and turned and generally fought with the covers all night long.  Had a horrendous hot flash, thought I was going to internally combust and then all my problems would be over.  Even sorta wished I would!

Finally got up around 8:00 and had a fairly pleasant morning.  Drank my coffee outside, watched the birds, took a picture, posted it on facebook.  Ran on the treadmill.  Was pleasantly surprised when I got on the scale.  Fed the dog.  Tidied the house.  Just another regular day.

Then the lawn maintenance guys came.  I wondered why one of them knocked on my front door to open the gate. They sometimes have trouble with their code so I locked it open for them and went about my business.  It obviously had worked once because he was inside the gate and wanted to leave.  Didn't think too much about it after that.

A little while after they had finished and I had closed the gate, Marley wanted outside so I just opened the front door and out he went.  He laid down on the driveway to sun and I didn't think much about it for about 30 minutes.  Then I started looking for him and realized the breezeway gate was down.  Either the wind had blown it over or the lawn people left it open.  Well, you know where Marley was, right?  In the marsh, that's where!  Having a grand ol' time.  Wading and frolicking all about!  His nickname isn't MarshMoo for nothin'!  Normally when this happens Randy simply jumps in the marsh and lifts him up and over the bulkhead and all is well after a good rinse with the hose.  But Marley weighs 97 pounds and I can not, no way, no how, lift his big ass out of the marsh.

So I yelled at him and he comes running toward the bulkhead.  I go back in the house.  Get his leash, open the gate with the remote control, leave the remote in the house because I can simply punch in the code on the keypad to open the gate after I get him out.  Walked two doors down, trespassed in the neighbors back yard since that's the only place I know of that Marley can leap out because it's sandy there and higher ground.  Yelled at Marley and he came to me happily splashing and leaped out like he had wings or something.  I hook him up to the leash and walk to the gate keypad.  Punch in the code - nothin', nada, no beeping, no response, no opening gate.  How the hell am I gonna get me and this freakin' dog over this fence, I ask myself.  I was at an utter loss as to how I was going to do that.

On the plus side, this house is practically a freakin' fortress.  Very hard to get in!  But since I'm inside the house typing this, I obviously found a way.  I ain't telling how, but I have a bleeding, scratched, bruised leg for my efforts.  It's a five foot fence with pointy spikes at the top.  All I can say is it's a damn good thing I have long legs!  

I am SO mad at Marley right now.  Obviously I had to leave him tied to the outside of the fence.  I contemplated putting a sign on him that said FREE DOG, COMES WITH 40 LBS. OF FOOD, MEDS, LEASH, CHOKER CHAIN, COLLAR AND A HEADACHE!  But I didn't, I brought him around to the back of the house.  Shoved his stinky butt into the pool, then rinsed him under the outdoor shower with warm water.  Dried him with a towel.  Put said nasty towel in washer along with filthy leash and collar and am listening to them clank around while I type this.

Just cleaned the bloody gash on my leg and put Neosporin on it.  Guess I'm going to be okay.  Still pissed at him though.

Every single time Randy leaves town something breaks at this house.  Seriously, it does.  My house doesn't like me!  That's the only conclusion I can come to.

Sheesh!  Damn dog!

I think I'd better curl up in a ball in bed before something else breaks!

So, yeah, that's my crappy day, how was your's?

This is him leaping and that's the front gate that wouldn't open.

ADDENDUM:  October 28, 2012 at 4:57 p.m.

Randy just got home and merely LOOKED at the keypad and it started working.  I'm not kidding!  Well actually, I am kidding a little.  He did open the power box to the keypad but there didn't seem to be anything wrong in there.  Then he went over to the keypad and noticed that the 9 key was stuck in.  Sprayed corrosion X on it and gave it a quick swipe and it started working immediately.  Beeps and all.  Works like a charm.  Which simply proves my point, the house loves him and hates me!