It's less than a week until my birthday and Randy's Celebration of Life party. We've been busy bees making arrangements and writing and looking at pictures, videos, slideshows. It's exhausting and overwhelming. It was 7 months on the 12th of this month since he passed. There hasn't been one single day that I don't miss him. I truly don't expect that to ever change. That kind of love and devotion is a once in a lifetime partnership. And that's what we were, partners in every sense of the word. My soulmate. Simple as that. But not simple, not by any stretch of the imagination.
I know he will live in my heart forever and always and he definitely has shown me that he is still here watching over me. I simply miss the Earthly senses part of our souls living in this realm for whatever God has planned for us. He took him too soon. Now I truly understand the adage, Only the Good Die Young. 61 was too young!
As I vacuumed yesterday I realized it'd been quite awhile since I vacuumed. Guess who always did that? Guess who remembered to include my closet in that routine. I didn't yesterday, and so today I did my closet and thought of all the little things Randy did for me without me even realizing it. That's love y'all. Just doing small gestures that show the love and devotion you have for your partner, expecting absolutely nothing in return. That was my Randy.
I could go on and on about the myriad of these kinds of gestures he exhibited for me. I miss those so terribly much and wish I'd thanked and hugged him a million more times than I did. I can't go back and do that though. I hope he knows how much I will always love and cherish the memories, the laughter, the good times we shared over our 30+ years together.
So I've cried a lot these last few days because of the loss being so close and oh so permanent. I would give anything to have had more time. My only take-away is to advise couples to never take a single thing for granted. Hug more, laugh more, feel the gratitude towards them more, give flowers unexpectedly, kiss more, travel together more, cook meals together more, and especially HUG more! I miss those hugs more than anything else in the world. So next time you see me, I'll be that obnoxious huggy person that doesn't let go for an extra second or two. Please forgive and bear with me during this time. I'm kind of an emotional wreck. Need hugs!
