Sad Day

Ever had one of those days where you just feel like going back to bed and calling it a day and it's still morning? I mean, seriously, everything I look at reminds me of Randy and I finally just sit down and bawl. I know, tears have toxins in them that need to be released and it does help, until the next time. I just miss him so much some days. This morning I made the mistake of going back and looking at messages from him and my sweet daughter and it just broke me. Why did I do that? Ugh!

I should simply be grateful I had 30 years with my soul mate, right? The agony and overwhelming loss of him is too much to bear some days. I guess this is one of them. Distractions help and I'll probably get in the car and get out of here a little bit. Or just simply give up and go back to bed. Who knows?

On second thought I may get in the pool. It's Spring and the sun is shining for now anyway. We've had several days of some pretty intense wind and a bit of isolated showers. Need more rain and if my name were Stormy there'd be plenty of rain down here. 

Another sad thing happening is Marley is aging pretty rapidly it seems. He's 13 1/2 years old now and it's definitely beginning to show. He has some pretty impressive lumps and I won't even tell the vet, she knows. It's just a matter of time. He still surprises me and runs to the gate. I think he pays for that later though. I've put him on CBD Oil and it has made a huge difference. Allowed us more time with him. But it's inevitable. My Daddy, a Native American Indian, was so matter-of-fact when he was aging. "We all die." His words. And he's right, we do. It's the people that are left behind that suffer. I miss that sweet man every day, the best Daddy EVER! He was 82 when he passed. Momma was 86. People predict I'll be the last person on Earth. LOL Anyway, many prayers for my sweet Marley will be appreciated.

You know, as I write this I realize how lucky I am. My daughter just called, seems to know when I need her, and vice versa. I am beyond grateful for the people in my life, my family, my friends, Shawn, and being able to express myself in this forum helps me. Thank you all for that. Until next time, keep your heads up, cry when you need to, call a friend (me) should you feel like it, and just try and be a happy soul. That’s what I’m doing!