Since my last blog I've improved somewhat. I still have days when I just wish he'd simply walk back in the door after being gone for a few days and I would be so happy to see him. We'd laugh and carry on like we did for years. But that ain't gonna happen.
I have lonely days. But I am so blessed to have the people who check on me frequently and invite me to dinner and lunch. I tend to isolate and I know that's not good so I've started to make myself get out more and I'm always happy when I do. Marley is a good companion, too. I dread the day this over 12 year old beast joins Randy. I'll be broken again for awhile. I've had thoughts about what I will do when that happens, like you do when you have all this time. I may not get another dog for a bit. Maybe travel some. Just imagine being able to lock the door and leave is intriguing. I can't even remember when that option was available. lol
I'm still very busy in the office, getting stuff in my name and taking care of business. It's a struggle, I gotta tell ya. But I'm learning. I've made mistakes, but those are the hardest lessons and I won't be making those again! Don't have to tell me twice!
What has helped me cope more than anything is when I decided that I would search every single day for something to make me laugh and smile. I do this in Randy's honor. He was happiest when I was happy and I feel if I do that he will know. I can feel him smile when I do it. He will be with me always and sometimes when I am laughing I can feel him laughing with me.
Don't worry, I am apparently much stronger than I thought. I'm a tough ol' Texas gal and that will sustain me and get me through this difficult time!
Love y'all!
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