Day One - We left at 5:40 a.m. on Monday, July 27th, on a hot, balmy day in Rockport, Texas. It’d taken over two weeks to accomplish all it takes to leave our home unattended for two months. Everything we considered valuable was in the climate controlled storage unit in Austin. Things we could store above what we considered the “rising water line” was stashed on top of various locations – the island bar, the entertainment center, the breakfront in the living area. All the hurricane shutters were tightly in place and the house reminded me of a fortress. Traditionally the last thing done is turn off the gas light fixtures at the front of the house. As we drove away in the darkness the house seemed rather sad to me – or maybe I was simply projecting my gloominess of leaving our beautiful home behind with the possibility of never seeing it again.
We picked up Sarah and Joey, her miniature Poodle, and headed out on our thirty hour, 3-day, 1,859-mile saga to Big Sky, Montana. The first few hours were okay, we were excited to finally begin our trip.
The dogs were figuring out where they belonged in the car and snarling at each other from time to time but were beginning to settle down. Abe, our Golden Retriever, simply avoided Joey’s nips and was wondering what all the fuss was about. He’s a good boy and didn’t bite Joey in half like he’s perfectly capable of. I believe Joey suffers from what I call “small dog syndrome” and lashes out just in case a large dog gets any idea that he can’t hold his own when it comes to a dog fight. The unfortunate thing is not all large dogs are as easy going as Abe and Joey might mess with the wrong big dog one of these days and find himself in a situation from which he may not recover.
We drove and drove, occasionally stopping for fuel and potty breaks. The dogs had to be walked sporadically as well. The day was an endless blur of telephone poles and white lines on the highway. The scenery couldn’t keep me awake and I frequently found myself waking from a nap. I listened to my iPod and slept while my ass grew numb. The day ended in stinky Hereford, Texas at a Holiday Inn Express – we didn’t even get out of Texas after an 11 ½ hour day of driving. We ate a pre-packed light dinner from our cooler, showered and went to bed early, anticipating another long day.
Day Two – Up at 4:45 a.m. and on the road by 6:00 again. I was already sick of riding in the car and began to feel an itch in my right eye – please don’t be a sty, please don’t be a sty! Occasionally stress causes me to have one of these itchy, swollen pustules on one of my eyelids and I greatly feared one was coming on. The previous two weeks of packing, planning, and laboring had taken its toll on me and I guess inevitably something had to give. My forehead had already birthed three zits overnight and I was beginning to feel abused by my own body. Plus, I hadn’t crapped in two days allowing my tummy to look and feel quite bloated. No, Roxie was not a happy passenger. At least the dogs had settled into a sort of equilibrium.
By the end of the 10 ½ hour day of driving we had traveled through four states – Texas, New Mexico, Colorado and finally into Wyoming – Laramie to be exact. Another Holiday Inn Express, a new one, thank goodness. No fees for dogs and much nicer than the previous night’s accommodations. I decided a nice soak in the tub after another pre-packed dinner from the cooler was in order. Maybe soaking in the hot water would allow my tummy and lower intestines to relax enough to finally be able to expel the backed up doo-doo that was causing me such distress. But Noooooo, that wasn’t happening. Now I know why my eyes are so brown. We went to bed early.
Day Three – You know the drill – up at 4:45 a.m. and on the road by 6:00. By then I had to wear stretchy pants, no way I could button those cute Capri’s around my swollen, bloated mid-section. I hadn’t planned on the weather being so cool either and fortunately one of the last things I’d done was toss a pair of stretch pants in my overnight bag. I was beginning to believe I might have to implant a stick of dynamite up there to get things going again. I still haven’t ruled out the possibility.
At least the scenery was more beautiful and the day rather cloudy. Unfortunately the day’s journey was extended about an hour and a half by construction on the highway before Yellowstone National Park and in the park itself. Parts of the road were unpaved and there were 30-minute delays predicted by the flashing signs. By the end of the day I felt dirty from all the construction dust, my eyelid was swelling and itching like crazy, my mid-section appeared six months pregnant and the zits on my forehead were expanding too. My hair was dirty, my clothes were tight and I was beginning to feel extremely grumpy. But we made it to Big Sky and the house was as we had left it the previous summer. The dogs were in seventh heaven. I was glad to see someone enjoying themselves.
Randy and I unpacked the truck and trailer while Sarah went to the grocery store for a few supplies and sandwiches for dinner. I had taken out the contact in my right eye since that was the one with the sty and therefore couldn’t clearly see the gorgeousness surrounding me but I knew it was there and that had to be enough.
After a good night’s sleep I truly thought I’d wake up today able to do the deed I so desperately need to – but I’m still stopped up. I’ve been drinking lots of water, eating salads, fruit and cereal and I don’t know what else to do except bide my time and wait to either burst wide open or finally go. I give a whole new meaning to being “full of shit.”
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